Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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