no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
