He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
