hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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