I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
