I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
