did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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