hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
