I am puke
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
