you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
