hotel room ftw
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
