dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
