So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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