Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
