Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
