what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
