I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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