a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
