I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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