I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
