Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
