My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize