im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
