If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.