I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
