Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.