He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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