I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
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oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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