walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
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This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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