So drunk its hurt
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
