Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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