Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
