Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
