Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
