Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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