so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
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I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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