I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
