I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
