I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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