i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
only you would photoshop your dick
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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