he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize