My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
