Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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