I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
