You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
