it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
