I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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