I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize