I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize