It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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