I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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