i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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