What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
