My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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