Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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