somebody snuck up and got me drunk
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
