it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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