No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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