That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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