Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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