What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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